Helping Someone Accept Rehab Can Unify Whole Family With Recovery Goals
Can you force someone into rehab? And if you could, would it even help?
People have mixed impressions when they think of rehab centers so it is helpful to gain a better understanding of what rehab is.
Clinically, rehab is a process of intake, assessment of needs (detox, mental health overall state, evaluation of possible co-occurring disorders, physical exam, therapy treatment program, including mental, physical, and nutrition. and nutritional. Throughout treatment, a recovery after plan will be built to provide support after leaving the facility.
Mentally, the idea of rehab brings an influx of emotions, some shared, some separate, for both the person with the alcohol or drug addiction and their loved one hoping a program is “the answer.”
Where the loved one sees hope; the person with the addiction can feel like a failure. For example:
It’s an acknowledgment that the loved one may see as necessary but the person with the addiction may view it as scary. The cost of a treatment center may seem unattainable to you both.
You are probably assuming the role of the family caretaker as your loved one sinks further into substance use and is no longer behaving responsibly. Or perhaps you are watching helplessly as your child becomes withdrawn or makes risky decisions due to their substance use.
But you also struggle between making sure your life and the daily lives of those around you remain as unaffected as possible. Perhaps your elementary-age children need a solid parent to help with school tasks and choosing show-and-tell items. Or you just started a new job with many responsibilities. At the end of a long day, you come home to someone passed out for the seventh night in a row or worse, gone for several days, and no idea where they are.
While you balance daily needs, your other sense of self feels love and responsibility to help someone you see decline right in front of you.
We know something needs to change. But how?
Can You Force Someone Into Rehab?
Does anybody respond well to force? Do you? Your kids? Forcing someone you love into rehab for an alcohol or substance use disorder they’re not ready to address probably wouldn’t have the same success because rehab doesn’t come from you or even the rehab center.
Wanting, understanding, realizing, accepting – whatever word you want to call it has to come from the person struggling with alcohol. You can be of assistance during that process with resources and support. But give yourself a break – you are not going to “cure” their alcoholism.
Treatment and Therapy Helps Whole Family, Not Just Person With Substance Use Disorder
Therapists/Support Groups For Families Can Provide Help Regardless if Person With Disorder Pursues Help
Start taking measures to take care of yourself and other family members that live in the environment. These are things that are within your ability to handle, unlike substance use.
According to a study by the Substance Use and Mental Health Services Administration, 7.5 million children under age 18 live in a home where at least one parent had an alcohol use disorder in the past year. That is 10% of all children under age 18.1 This is why alcoholism is often referred to as a family disease. It affects the mental and physical health of others as well, not just the person with the disorder. Financial struggles, internal arguing, worry, anxiousness, isolation from others outside the family, and risk-taking behaviors are all more likely to occur family-wide.
Start by attending an Al-Anon meeting and/or scheduling a therapy session with a professional who has a demonstrated understanding of alcoholism counseling. You may have become codependent with your partner and covered for him/her too many times to count, chosen to look the other way to keep the peace. Your inner despair, turmoil, anger, confusion are all understandable and shared by many in similar shoes. The frustration can feel like an endless hamster wheel.
Maybe you’re thinking you’re not the problem, it’s the other person who needs “fixing.” But as the adage goes, it takes two to tango. You can stop being led and become the leader of your own dance.
We all know that feeling of apprehension that comes over us when our loved one who has an alcohol or substance use disorder enters the room. We automatically scan for tell-tale signs of substance use: examine their face for a zoned-out or glassy-eyed look, check if their hands are trembling or if they won’t make eye contact. When they talk, we’re not listening to their words but listening for the slurring of speech.
Sometimes we reach for a hug so we can do a sniff test for alcohol on the breath.
We know what we’re doing and so do they.
If someone is showing signs of mental illness and refuses to take prescription medications or seek treatment, it can also be a painful situation to live around. Perhaps they are experiencing hallucinations, paranoia, and neglect to eat or bathe. Standing helpless on the sidelines is a hard place to be and you’re searching for solutions.
Maybe it gets brought up often or you’re all too tired to address it anymore. This endless dance of addiction or mental illness is draining on everyone, both emotionally and physically.
Loved ones are caught up in the addiction process just like the person with an addiction. You most likely feel helpless in the face of it all and want to scream at the top of your lungs:
“WHY WON’T YOU GET HELP!!!”
“Look what you’re doing to the kids!”
“I don’t want to see you die!”
“I can’t take it anymore!”
Calling For Change is the First Step
You finally feel compelled to act for change to this endless cycle and hope you all come out okay on the other side. But don’t swing the pendulum so far the opposite way and approach change with a knee-jerk reaction, making a hasty decision.
Start with low levels of commitment to address the issue.
Physical Exam Can Open Discussion about Addiction
Let them know you would like to schedule an annual check-up. A physical with routine bloodwork can offer a lot of information to a person struggling with addictions or mental health. For example, elevated levels can indicate early detection of diabetes or liver issues. You can take the opportunity to emphasize the doctor is an advocate for your loved one’s best interest, not an enemy to mislead. You can ask if they mind meeting with the doctor together afterward, but maybe just be vocal in saying you appreciate them taking a positive step with their health.
Family Therapy Will Address All People Involved
Schedule a therapy appointment with the immediate family. Research therapists who specialize in treating families as well as substance use disorders. Substance use disorders affect those around the person with the disorder, but other things could also benefit from a discussion.
- How does the family communicate and find ways to help each other daily?
- What are better listening strategies so someone can fully share a concern?
- If a dispute arises, what is a healthy way to resolve the problem?
- What activities can the family participate in to get closer?
As trust builds in these other areas, the possibilities of how the disorder is affecting the family as a whole could be discussed with the help and guidance of the therapist.
Address to your Loved One the Need for Rehab Directly But With Open Support
This may sound easier said than done, but remember that you are trying a new approach. You know that this time WILL be different because YOU are going to make different choices of what you will accept.
As such, consider this the first time you are approaching your loved one regarding this disorder. You aren’t forcing them into drug rehab, but you are very clearly forcing the situation to be resolved by establishing boundaries that consider the rest of the family’s well being.
Family Time Can Be Regained
Remind them of the game nights and picnics that can still be had when relationships get rebuilt. Do members of the family avoid them because it is too painful to see their health decline?
Friends and Interests Will Replace Need to Use
They might remember hobbies they used to enjoy but let fall by the wayside, such as hiking or playing on a recreational softball team.
Job/ Career/ Financial Stress Can be Repaired
If they have lost their job, they may have lost a sense of purpose and identity that it brought them, along with financial security.
Research Rehab Facilities to Remove Fear of the Unknown
Schedule a time to look at nearby facilities and evaluate their programs, therapies, and overall sense you get by visiting websites and seeing online tours of the grounds and rooms. Perhaps even drive by some of the prospects together and develop more comfort from seeing it first hand. Enthusiasm can grow with imagination if they can envision themselves in the location, knowing they have your full support at home.
Make a list of questions together you would want to ask a facility concerning insurance, possible waiting lists, types of programs, and how to select one. Ask if they are willing to call to set up the appointment or if they want you to assist, but try to let them direct you how they want to handle things. After all, they are the patient!
Debunk the Excuses
Ask why not get help and listen to the answers carefully. Do they accept they need help but don’t want to disrupt everyone by going to a facility? Worried about a lack of insurance? A treatment program intake specialist can help with financial questions and remind your loved one your lives are already disrupted. Displaying support and a desire for them to get better could be the triggers to them acknowledging what they already know.
What could it possibly hurt to try the program for the full amount of recommended time? This is a rational approach that could help all parties affected reach a compromise. Things cannot continue as they are, and this is a step that will require everyone’s full participation.
They may be able to do it on their own, but they have other people to consider as well. Their loved ones need a stable environment for school and work obligations, while recovery can be their primary focus in a treatment center, with family support throughout.
To be truly effective with recovery, the person with the disorder will come to realize it is more than clenching lips together and white-knuckling it to beat the desire to stop drinking or using substances. There are mental triggers that can cause a person to go back to using. Understanding these non-physical obstacles and learning new approaches will be the key to prevent a return to self-destructive ways.
Overcoming the Stigma
Perhaps they are still in denial or feel they can do it “on their own.” At the core of this may lie a self-conscious approach due to the stigma related to being labeled an addict in recovery. They may feel a loss of dignity or attack on their pride, which is easy to understand and should be approached compassionately. But it IS treatable. It’s important to emphasize mental health and physical health affect their overall well-being and they can benefit from professional care.
You’ve come this far and with a little preparation, hopefully, you can have your loved one on board for change as well. Someone with substance use or mental disorders must understand the need for professional treatment to truly benefit from a program. Our team’s family will be here when you are ready to show you how healing can begin. We provide compassionate care in a home-like setting. Call Pinnacle Peak Recovery at 866-377-4761 today.
FAQs:
How Do You Congratulate a Recovering Addict?
Don’t be nervous to acknowledge someone’s addiction recovery process if they have previously discussed it with you. A simple sentence such as “I’m so happy for you,” or “You’ve really stayed strong,” or just “Congratulations,” is perfectly fine, and probably very welcome for the person to hear. Positive encouragement goes a long way to give someone support.
What is the Most Popular Program for Recovering Alcoholics?
Alcoholics Anonymous is the most well-known and attended program worldwide for recovering alcoholics. It is a spiritual-based program based on 12 steps of recovery, with 2 million members. Other non-12-step programs have been growing in recent years such as SMART (Smart Management and Recovery Training).
What is the Success Rate For Recovering Alcoholics?
This question has a complicated answer. Many people with substance use disorder may experience several setbacks in the early stages of recovery as they learn new methods to improve their life quality. Many studies report different numbers, but Alcoholics Anonymous estimates on average, its members have five years of sobriety. One major contributor is continuing to attend meetings while feeling in a good mental place to stay on track, as well as maintaining their sobriety by helping others recover.
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